Things I've learned since being in Minnesota..

(these don't necessarily have to do with Minnesota, just things I've learned since being here)

1.) I have had the urge to say "Uf-da" a lot. Even though I don't hear it on a regular basis, it's a fun word and I want to incorporate it into my vocabulary.

2.) Fishing although not the most exciting sport in the world, really is a skill and it's fun to learn from people who know what they're doing.

3.) Fish isn't bad when it's fresh, fried and smothered in lemon juice!

4.) Having children is an amazing ministry, and I am learning to appreciate mothers, and my own mother more everyday.

5.) The Mall of America is a cool place, but it's not the best part of Minnesota, No not even close.

Mattie is coming!

Mattie is coming home in 3 days. I am so excited, haven't seen this girl since Christmas! She is one of the best friends a girl could ask for...

stateside-but for how long?

I feel like I haven't been able to truly express my feelings through words thus far, so maybe I will have better success through writing in my blog. We'll see. First, let me explain a little of what has been/ is going on with my life....

Early May, I decided to return to the states for a few reasons, but mostly to see people and tell more people about the ministry I believe God has called me to do in Mexico. However, once returning home, I became sick. It was one thing after another for several weeks. I felt as if not only my body was weary, but my soul as well. All of the joy was sucked out of me. I didn't have a desire to share the vision God had given me with anyone because well I just felt broken down. I still don't know the significance of all of that. And it's possible that I never will know anything other than It's caused me to re-evaluate everything in my life.

As a result of all of this I have accumulated quite a lot of medical bills. I feel like my plans are being radically changed. The question I keep getting asked is "So Tasha, what are you going to do now?" I haven't been able to answer anyone with a definite response, other than "I'm praying about it.." Because I have been praying about it, and seeking God, and am seeking others for wisdom. And the truth is, I am still not positive, but I am trusting that God will open and close doors. My current thought is that i will have to get a job here in the states for a few months to pay some stuff off.

I feel so completely torn in this matter, because my heart right now is in Oaxaca, Mexico. God is doing things there, He is moving in incredible ways. There are so many house churches on the verge of starting. There are young girls, who are finding hope and seeing purpose for there lives. THE UNREACHED ARE BEING REACHED! I believe that there is still purpose for me there. I have so many friends who I feel like are just a step away from knowing, falling in love with Jesus and finding FREEDOM!

How can you walk away from that? How can you leave that? Not that God can't use someone else, because Oh, He can!! He is so much bigger than me and my plans. But I just think about them and I love them so much. God calls us to not only baptize people in His name, but to disciple them after. First I just need to say, that when we think about someone who "disciples" someone, we think about someone, maybe a little older, very seasoned and experienced in their faith. Maybe someone who actually "has it together". Haha, we all know that I am not exactly those things. Yes, I have been following Jesus for a while, but I wouldn't exactly say I know what I am doing or I "have it all together" as a matter of fact I don't at all.
To disciple someone you just have to be one step ahead of them...and they follow you as you follow Christ...

I am still working through things, still finding freedom from things and to be honest with you most of the time I don't have a clue what I am doing most of the time. But as I have had the opportunity to disciple some young women this past year I have learned so much and come to discover that is actually a beautiful thing. A thing that perhaps they can relate to. When I am able to share my testimony,and how God really can use the most unexpected people. When you have faith, and God wants to use you, your circumstances don't really matter. It doesn't really matter how you grew up, what country you grew up in or if you were poor, because there is freedom from all of that. We always hear that God "uses the weak" it really is true. I see such potential in so many of these women that the world may view as "weak". Why? Because He can get so MUCH GLORY from it!!

This is why I feel torn, because I am so afraid of losing the relationships I have made. Afraid that it will take months to get back to having deep trust with them again. But you know what, I also know that God is faithful and if He calls me back to the states for a time period, then He will most definitely take care of all of that.Anything else is just my own self not trusting that He is in control.

I ask that you all would please continue to pray for not only me during this time, that God will show me where I need to go and when, but also continue to pray for the people of Oaxaca, continue to pray for revival there. God USES you and your prayers in such and amazing way, I have seen proof of it!
Thank you all for your love, prayers and support

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjqZPaiYiRs

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm
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My Birthday!

Yesterday I celebrated my 23rd birthday! I cannot believe how the years have passed! haha.
It was an amazing Birthday, definitely a memorable one. I woke up around 6am yesterday to loud music playing, and my roomate running in my room telling me to go look out my window. After a min or two of not wanting to get up, I finally walked over to my window and looked down 3 stories to see one of my very good mexican bands and two young guys singing mariachi songs to me. It was awesome! Although I was half asleep, that is one thing I can say no one has ever done for me before!! Throughout the day I went and visited different friends and got lots of cake. ;) Later on that day I had a picnic with Liz and everyone had a surprise party for me.
I just felt so loved, seriously....

Being Challenged....

So God has been stretching my heart and mind in a lot of ways these past few months.
Today felt like some kind of breakthrough though. Well, maybe not "breakthrough", but I was definitely hit hard with a lot of things.
Right now, our church planting team is reading the book "Christianity Rediscoverd", I haven`t read a whole lot of it yet, but what I have read has seriously hit hard and I feel like brought me to a new place. One of the biggest ways that I feel like God has challenged me though this, ...where my focus is. In this book, it talks about a a people group, who had missionaries for over a 100 years, ...missionaries doing good work. Sharing the love of Christ through serving the people, they had a hospital, a school, all these wonderful things, but the people did not know the real reason they were there. This is sad, seriously sad, but I cannot even tell you how EASY it is to fall into this. "Doing" all these things, but in the sense of eternity, accomplishing very little. We cant forget that our ONE and only purpose of missions is JESUS. All though social issues and helping the community are all important, the truth is that if I do all these things and am not keeping Jesus the main focus, these things will amount to NOTHING in the end.

I am new at the whole missionary thing, I still have a ton to learn, but one thing I can say is that it`s hard sometimes, because I dont want to come across the wrong way to people, there have been mormans, jehovah witnesses here, and lots of different missionaries, and these people know that...so the last thing we want to do is make them think that they are apart of some project, that we want to see how many people we can convert. Our purpose here is NOT to convert them, but to show them Jesus in their own culture. There is a book called " Eternity in their Hearts" that I HIGHLY reccomend, this book just talks about how God is already uniqely in each and every culture of the world, and He manifest Himself in different ways in all of these cultures. So the purpose is not to convert them to what we know, but help them find God in their own culture. The problem is that we come with a package of the gospel, we think that we have something they need and think that we can just hand it to them and we are done. It just doesnt work like them though, we have to bond with the people to know what they need, become incarnational. Through this we can find a whole new aspect of God, through going on this journey to find God with them, we come to know Him so much more.
This all is SO MUCH easier said than done though! What I am really struggling with, is HOW do I get God out of the box I have Him in? How do I truly truly become incarnational? By eating the food, living with them, learning the language? These are all very very important things, but what I am learning right now is that beyond all of these exterior things, it is a MINDSET. It is a daily surrender and dying to yourself and taking my cross.

ps. 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.