ps. 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

changes

This week has been one of the hardest, bittersweet weeks of my life. Tonight Monica and I went to town so she could go say some goodbyes to friends. How weird that was, we do so much of our ministry together...the thought of her not being along side me is hard to really grasp right now. I am so thankful that God has called me to stay, these people are so desperately in need of a Savior. Just tonight as we were walking through the neighborhood of San Sabes where we have done a ton of ministry this year, I started thinking about everything.

These people are broken..the women we go to see every week who has 7 children to take care of on her own....she just seems so worn out and broken everytime I see her. She needs Jesus so much. There are so many more like her. I don't know why, but lately I have been having this overwhelming feeling thar has been controlling a lot. In 3 days I am going to go from being surrounded by believers who will stop and pray for me at any point of the day, to being COMPLETELY immersed into the Mexican culture by not being around any english speakers. The thought of this scares me to death. I am so excited about doing this, don't get me wrong...I just feel like this is going to be an even harder transition than if I would have come straight from the states to a host family. The problem is that I have already lived in mexico for the past 7 months. I have definitely had a huge amount of cultural exposure, but all the while still living here at the base in my "american bubble' speaking english and kind of having that escape and safe haven if you will to go home to at night. Which has all been amazing and what i have needed, however...now that I already have a taste...but not the whole thing. Now I feel like I need to kind of lay aside all expectations and everything and just dive in as a learner, because life really is going to look a whole lot different from this point forward than it ever has before.

The family I am living with live in San Sabes the neighborhood I have been doing a lot of ministry in that past 7 months, so I really feel like God has me there for a reason. I am just nervous, but at the same time so excited at how God is going to stretch me and cause me to depend more on just Him alone.