Mattie is coming!

Mattie is coming home in 3 days. I am so excited, haven't seen this girl since Christmas! She is one of the best friends a girl could ask for...

stateside-but for how long?

I feel like I haven't been able to truly express my feelings through words thus far, so maybe I will have better success through writing in my blog. We'll see. First, let me explain a little of what has been/ is going on with my life....

Early May, I decided to return to the states for a few reasons, but mostly to see people and tell more people about the ministry I believe God has called me to do in Mexico. However, once returning home, I became sick. It was one thing after another for several weeks. I felt as if not only my body was weary, but my soul as well. All of the joy was sucked out of me. I didn't have a desire to share the vision God had given me with anyone because well I just felt broken down. I still don't know the significance of all of that. And it's possible that I never will know anything other than It's caused me to re-evaluate everything in my life.

As a result of all of this I have accumulated quite a lot of medical bills. I feel like my plans are being radically changed. The question I keep getting asked is "So Tasha, what are you going to do now?" I haven't been able to answer anyone with a definite response, other than "I'm praying about it.." Because I have been praying about it, and seeking God, and am seeking others for wisdom. And the truth is, I am still not positive, but I am trusting that God will open and close doors. My current thought is that i will have to get a job here in the states for a few months to pay some stuff off.

I feel so completely torn in this matter, because my heart right now is in Oaxaca, Mexico. God is doing things there, He is moving in incredible ways. There are so many house churches on the verge of starting. There are young girls, who are finding hope and seeing purpose for there lives. THE UNREACHED ARE BEING REACHED! I believe that there is still purpose for me there. I have so many friends who I feel like are just a step away from knowing, falling in love with Jesus and finding FREEDOM!

How can you walk away from that? How can you leave that? Not that God can't use someone else, because Oh, He can!! He is so much bigger than me and my plans. But I just think about them and I love them so much. God calls us to not only baptize people in His name, but to disciple them after. First I just need to say, that when we think about someone who "disciples" someone, we think about someone, maybe a little older, very seasoned and experienced in their faith. Maybe someone who actually "has it together". Haha, we all know that I am not exactly those things. Yes, I have been following Jesus for a while, but I wouldn't exactly say I know what I am doing or I "have it all together" as a matter of fact I don't at all.
To disciple someone you just have to be one step ahead of them...and they follow you as you follow Christ...

I am still working through things, still finding freedom from things and to be honest with you most of the time I don't have a clue what I am doing most of the time. But as I have had the opportunity to disciple some young women this past year I have learned so much and come to discover that is actually a beautiful thing. A thing that perhaps they can relate to. When I am able to share my testimony,and how God really can use the most unexpected people. When you have faith, and God wants to use you, your circumstances don't really matter. It doesn't really matter how you grew up, what country you grew up in or if you were poor, because there is freedom from all of that. We always hear that God "uses the weak" it really is true. I see such potential in so many of these women that the world may view as "weak". Why? Because He can get so MUCH GLORY from it!!

This is why I feel torn, because I am so afraid of losing the relationships I have made. Afraid that it will take months to get back to having deep trust with them again. But you know what, I also know that God is faithful and if He calls me back to the states for a time period, then He will most definitely take care of all of that.Anything else is just my own self not trusting that He is in control.

I ask that you all would please continue to pray for not only me during this time, that God will show me where I need to go and when, but also continue to pray for the people of Oaxaca, continue to pray for revival there. God USES you and your prayers in such and amazing way, I have seen proof of it!
Thank you all for your love, prayers and support

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjqZPaiYiRs

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm
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