random...

So, it's been a while since I've written anything in here, I thought it was about time. I made it one of my "new years resolutions" to blog more. haha. I shouldn't have said that on here. I really should be reading or sleeping right now, but I just need a break, writing is a good release for me and I should do it more. I've realized how much I have been trying to do things on my own lately, without letting God take control and that is why I feel so pressed for time, that is why I feel like I just can't do everything sometimes, is because I CANNOT do this...it is the power of Christ within me.
This week, we've been talking a lot about suffering. That is one of those issues that just breaks me down everytime I think about it. It makes me check every aspect of my life and think...WHAT am I doing? How devoted am I? Yes, I am living in Mexico training to be a missionary, but it does not matter where you are...you can still not give your all. Just being satisfied with "ok" ...it can happen. I really feel like it's been hard in some ways being here, but in reality...this is NOTHING compared to what it could be. I don't want to sound at all morbid, I just want to look at all suffering in a whole new way, Paul says we are to endure suffering with JOY....what does that look like??? What does that REALLY mean? Just thinking about all that goes on in the world makes me think.....ok, so I sometimes complain about the food here. Not always outward, but it is tha attitude of my heart that really matters. That goat soup might make me gag for a second but it is NOT leaving scars on my body. That's just a small example, but it is a BIG deal in a lot of ways, it's learning to be content.....fully content in every circumstance.

I really like to think sometimes that I am becoming more culturally sensitive and shedding my american mindset, but I still have so far to go. One of the huge things that I have learned here, is that God is such a HUGE God, there are so many different aspects of Him... if I just have Him in a little box then I am missing out on SO MUCH. There are so many different types of people in the world, and they all are creations of God and unique beautiful creatures. That is one of the things we are being challenged with a lot......making disciples of Christ....not clones of American Christianity. There is a universal body of Christ and each part is essential.